Nervous
Ok, so my story continues as last Thursday night I went to meet with the women of Joshua Station. I presented to them the group I am going to start. I was extremely nervous at first. Specifically because I wasn't sure how they would take to the idea of it. I know that some of them, just from past conversations, were already a little skeptical, and for good reason. They've been hurt so many times before in groups just as I have, so I think that's where most of my nervousness came from.
In my mind all these questions and doubts kept running about. I'd wonder, "Would they like what they were hearing? Would they like where I was coming from? Would they like me?" All throughout the presentation of this group to them I heard God tell me, "Say this...say that...say this...say that." I knew it had to have been Him speaking through me, because even now it went so fast I can barely remember what was said.
To my surprise, they were overwhelmingly receptive. They responded as if I had given them a breath of fresh air. Words cannot explain how good it felt personally to see them respond so well, and to know that God had used me to extend a hand to hurting women like me. I thought to myself, "Crazy God!" As I left on my way to get my children, I couldn't help but replay the moment in my head. The entire experience, and how good it felt brought me to tears. For those of you who don't know me, I don't cry very often, at least not as often that I would admit.
This journey God is taking me on He is giving me permission to explore many wonderful feelings I've kept hidden away for so long, and He is bringing me to my knees at every turn...Crazy God.
What wonderful feelings have you kept hidden away for so long?
Comments
Baby - I wish I could've been there. Thanks for sharing with us the intimate details of what your walk is looking like in all of this. I know you are experiencing so much from this and I look forward to more lessons from your heart.
I guess for me, I would have to say I still keep hidden away the feeling of being affirmed. I don't know how to take compliments, and have largely felt they were something used to get something from me. I wish I knew how to accept God's compliments for me, but that is still a work in progress.
Posted by: El Sam I Am | March 19, 2006 03:47 PM
Tiera -- at this moment in my life watching God at work in and through your life and Sam's is one of the things that most encourages me to believe that Jesus is alive and at work in our own city. Paul had the idea that Christ would be formed within those who followed him. I see that happening in the two of you: the presence of Christ is steadily taking shape in your lives, teaching and encouraging those of us who are connected to you.
Please keep writing and sharing your stories with us. And thanks for being willing to share part of your life with the women at Joshua Station.
Posted by: Jeff J | March 19, 2006 08:29 PM