Here I must admit that Christ has brought me a lot further from this point, because I know it is Him that I seek. There is no doubt in my mind that faith is the answer for my life. Yet, I must also admit that it wasn’t the image of Christ that I was introduced to that has transformed my heart over the last year.

The image of Christ that has been transforming me is more chaotic, more scandalous, and far more human than the unbalanced divine Christ many of us have learned to fear. This image of Christ truly is God in the flesh, and balances being fully human and fully divine at all levels. This Christ is not offended by anything my flesh can dish out. This Christ is real for me.

As my heart was moved by what she was telling me I started to wonder (as I often do) about the countless broken people that find their way to faith, and then bail. Or the ones that stick around faith, but can never get it “right.” The ones that constantly feel like spiritual failures surrounded by people of faith that “get it,” as they never will.

What is it that they all run from and struggle with? Is it really like many say where these people just don’t want God? That the desires of their flesh are greater than their desire for God? Do they truly choose pain over healing, or could there be more to this? Could there be a way to see them as contributors to our faith where their struggle is showing us something prophetic?

I invited my friend, and others friends like us, to have a study at our home. We are inviting ourselves into an exploration to depths of a theology that comes from below. As I have said before, when all theology has been discussed, reviewed, studied, debated, and perfected all outside the influence of the margins, than that faith is lop-sided.

I start to think about God and wonder what it is He might be doing right now. I am amazed at how reckless His invitation has been both Biblically and historically to His creation when it comes to living out, and developing faith. What a terrifying responsibility and unmerited permission we all have to partner with God.

For now, there is a voice not being heard, and people not being counted. I am not sure what the right answers are for all my questions and struggles, but I see something happening all around us. I see God choosing to reveal Himself through the broken, rebelling, skeptical, and untrusting hurt people whom we all (myself included) have far too often chosen to discount when it comes to issues of faith.

I am committed to God, and I know this commitment will forever change me. I am afraid of the ways God is going to shatter every image I have ever had of Him, but I must not let that keep me from being profoundly changed by Him. For I see God at work heavily here, but the catch is that I am looking for it.